you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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