the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
