Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
