Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
