Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
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