Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just had sex on a roof
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
