didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
