she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
