Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
whose ass print is on the piano?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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