i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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