My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I am available for nakedness
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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