Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
