I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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