It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
