Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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