I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
