Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
