I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
