He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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