i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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