She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
