you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
