He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
