Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
