I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
