About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
