i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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