I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
