New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
