I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
