when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
