first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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