so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
