He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
