I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Congratulations! We have a period
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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