as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
