Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
