I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
