I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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