Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
