if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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