You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
