is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
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