That's intense
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
