In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
