Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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