I feel like abortions should bother me more
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
