Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
you inspire me to be a worse person
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
