..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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