So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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