You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
