omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I don't deserve a penis
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize