we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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