do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize
