So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
