That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
