i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
