I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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