He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
