mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I want to make a zoo with you.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
